Dhundhali dhundhali si shaamo.n mein
Dabdabaai, adhkhuli in palako.n se
Ghane kohre mein zindagi ko khete
Main kabhi kabhi yun hi chal deta hun
Kuchh tasveerein aankho.n mein bhee.nche
Baadal ki kaali parto.n ke peechhe
Raaho.n mein ek disha dhoondhte
Main kabhi kabhi yun hi chal deta hun
Anjaani duniya ko paate khote
Bache khuche sapanon ko chunte
Kachche dhaage mein unko pirote
Main kabhi kabhi yun hi chal deta hun
Haar jeet ke daanv pench se
Sukh aur dukh ki aankh meech se
Main kabhi ghabaraake, kabhi khush hoke
To kabhi kabhi bas yun hi chal deta hun
September 9, 2007
Posted by ..
Vik
. at
12:28 AM
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10 comments:
Superb! Wow...I dont have words to appreciateit...I loved it!
Wah!!
Beautiful is all i can say!!!
Thanks everybody.. :)
nice theme...its in the simple words easy flow stream, and should be very hum-able...is jagjit singh or someone like that listening?
[Siyaah]
Should be hum-able, but doesn't seem to have much of depth. After 3 days of writing it, I only like the first stanza.
(Your words do give me hope though. For some other poem. Some day. Thanks.)
''Bache khuche sapanon ko chunte
Kachche dhaage mein unko pirote''
waah janaab :)
you are just getting better each time!
the third line (first para)..refers to the word 'khojte'?
those lines are exceptional!
Thanx a lot. :)
Oh, wow! 'khojte' sounds better there.. dabdaabai palakon ke saath kohre mein zindagi khojna. But what I meant was 'I'm rowing (khena) the boat that is life using eyelashes as oars.'
ohh!!!arre i didn't mean to change ur idea or composition, I was just not aware of this word 'khena'
it makes complete sense to me now!
and so another ..WOW!
line two lafz one
dabdabaai ki jagah
kajalbhari adhkhuli in ankhon se
kya jyada mufid naihnee
azad582002@yahoo.ca
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