Another Mortal Life

Baithkar saamne poochha zamaane bhar ka haal..
Vo mile to humse magar.. humii se bekhabar mile.

Seating opposite me, she enquired after everyone I ever knew..
She met me indeed, but, to the very me she appeared indifferent.

It’s 3:30 am. I’ve consumed a cup of coffee half an hour back and I know I won’t be able to sleep for another hour or two, however I try. In my current state of body and mind I can hardly continue with the book only a tenth of which I’ve read in last one month. Minors have just been over and I’ve nothing anew to study therefore (Don’t get into the apparent flaws in this statement; the foremost of which, or the origin of which, being that it’s being made by me.) So do read further only if you’ve nothing less unnecessary to indulge your mind in, and have nothing more worthy to focus your eyes on. (I’m not talking of Hellboy collections here.)

[And then I wrote some five more paragraphs full of non-sense, and as usual, the non-sense made too much of a sense, and therefore I found it better to erase them off. Thank me, for I didn’t force you to pretend to have read all that crap, for in any case you won’t have read more than two paragraphs. It’s 4:30 and I’m sleepy now. Good night.]

PS: If you ever want to bash me for a post, believe me you won’t get a better chance than this ;)

Thoda thoda sa darr lagta hai.. thodi si hai dilkashi bhi
Thoda khauf-e-zamaana hai.. thodi hasrat-e-maykashi bhi

"God helps those who help themselves."

=> 1) Don't expect much from him when you find yourself helpless.
2) When you can do things yourself, and very easily; he'll jump in, do things for you, and force you feel grateful.

=> Sachin IS God.

;)


.................................
Saurav always knew, but forgot at the most crucial time, that everybody's role in a team is different, and unique.
.................................
Sehwag is a big idiot, though a little lesser than he proclaims he is.
.................................
Greg will be too conscious not to be much gregarious when back in India. A Woolmer won't happen, but chappals await him in good numbers.
.................................
Rahul?
.................................
The biggest trio of the cricket history couldn't lift the world cup ever.
.................................

A few years back
Our paths used to cross quite often
And she would contemplate,
Once in a while,
To slow down.
But her feet would always quicken
And her eyes could never match that pace.

A few months back
I wasn't a poet.

A few days hence
If she would ever see me
She would wish she didn’t,
But of this her wish
She won’t be too certain.
Her feet will have to slow down.
Her eyes would want to run away.
I would say a "Hi"
Her eyes would relax for a while,
enclosed in her eyelids.
I would disappear,
For I never want to know
Whether the ocean-walls
Silently crack, or,
Outrageously burst.

Another day, another classroom, another professor, but the same story.

This time, it's the B-slot prof (proving other deptts' profs are equally good at bunking). His register would show I've attended around 60%, while I've gone for 80% of his classes. And attendence matters to him like hell (Here, he's depart-mentally different). Why do they calculate attendence as a percentage of number of classes actually held?

What does actually held mean? Eighty students made their presence felt to the neighbouring classrooms a bit more strongly than usual for half an hour, but the class was not actually held, because one person bunked off.

WTF.

Every class that is not cancelled in advance should be counted as actually held and the attendence be awarded to everybody. Man, at least for this course, I've attended 80%, and I certainly don't deserve an Attendence F.

And what makes them argue that attendence has a positive correlation with marks? (At least I score better in the courses I don't attend compared to the ones I do.) But even if it is true, then the student will eventually flunk on the basis of marks; so why do they need this tool of an Attendence Fail? Certainly their own positive-correlation theory disapproves of the need for this tool.

The faculty members who are not too good at teaching feel that this tool is the only way to ensure that the attendence in their classes does not reflect their (in)capabilities to the passers-by in the corridor. Better teachers seldom care for attendence.

Somewhere deep down the roots of its system, IIT finds it difficult to coop with me. [;)]

What else could explain the increasing tendencies of its faculty to skip classes whenever they’ve the slightest of idea (I don’t know how), that I’ve pulled myself out of the bed (only I know how) a little earlier than usual, and successfully resisted the peer pressure offered by the two parallel walls of my room [:P], to finally force myself on the road to sadda insti.

Yesterday was the X-th time this semester when a prof didn’t show up, and it was, at most, the 2X-th class I’ve had intentions to attend, all courses taken together! I’ve become a joke between some fellows: “You don’t want to attend this class, and you are short of attendance, right? Let’s ask Vikram to go for it, and there’ll be no class eventually!!”

And, on returning back to the hostel, I found my eagerness of blurting my frustration out on the blog was, again, too much for saddi IIT to handle, and so the net connection of my room went haywire!!! (And so, a day later, you are reading only a calmer version of the frustration!)

My dearest Insti, it’s OK! Chilllll! I haven’t got much of an interest in attending your classes. Just function properly. I’m better off in the hostel, for my own good, and for the good of all.

Instead, I should start visiting DU, NIFT, etc.

:D

I wish I was saner
or at least
my insanity would make
fewer public appearances.

I wish I could attend every "morning 11"
So that I didn't have to struggle
in understanding what the X's and Y's meant
in the equations the prof must have introduced
in the previous few classes I didn't attend

But what joy is there
in all these algebra and matrices?
Will my life be spent
determining a coeffiecient or two,
and finding an optimum value?

I wish I didn't have
targets so translucent
I can't see the future
I can't reflect on the passing moment.

I wish I didn't write
these silly poems in classrooms
I wish the last few pages of my notebooks
were blank
until all the preceding ones
were inked with notes
for a handy rot-learning.

I am too much of a wishful thinker.
I am a lonely word
with no prefix, or suffix.
I am condemned for ever
in the brackets of a matrix.


(This's how I made the optimum use of today's "Morning 11".)

I thought. I thought a lot. I skewed my mind beyond recovery. But I couldn't describe my mood that day any better than this line by a friend- "Years will disappear, but this day will remain."

And today too, the same line applies just as well.
(I could never understand the context of his line, though. I'm only talking about the line in isolation.) And you, obviously, can't understand the context of this post. Don't ask.