I feel like a Vish Sainik sometimes.
I feel venom running through my veins
And I want blood to flood the earthly drains.
Blood, yours. And theirs.
I would like to watch the bloody drains meet.
And I would see to it that the poison concentrates.
Poison, yours. And theirs.
Human blood, for you, is but a waste.
But I have found in it an addicting taste.
I'll stab you for them. And them for you.
I am sure neither you nor them, would object.
Your minds are blocked, and you all are hypocrites.
And I, your mob mentality.
I feel like a parasite sometimes.
(No, VHP, Bajrang Dal etc didn't contact me to write an anthem for them. I just volunteered.)
February 21, 2008
Posted by ..
Vik
. at
5:22 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
and what exactly activates and turns on this Vish Sainik mode?
or maybe I am being ignorant here?
I detect a growing despondency in your last posts.I hope it's just a pasing phase :-)
err :*hypocrites
*passing (i meant)
you feel like a what?
[Geetanjali]
I was thinking of a title for it, but fell short of time (It was the eve of BTP presentations). I admit that, without a title or a description it doesn't convey what I wanted it to. Let me put it in order.
I tend to exaggerate about things. Guess I'm being a bit of masochist lately. Life is good, vaise :)
[Phoenix]
Darr matt :P
Achchha laga vaise.. tumhe zinda dekh ke :)
i am alive baba
http://apublicdiary.wordpress.com
Liked the slow transition in the poem. First and second stanzas are almost fanatical, third and fourth get deeper and just begin at criticism with 'poison' and 'waste'. Fifth is deep criticism. Sixth is a total change from where the poem started. But the title is apt because hatred of one kind gets converted into hatred of another kind. Always moving from one extreme to another extreme we are!
good to see ...this feeling sometimes takes over others as well :P
Scary...hehe
[Phoenix]
:)
[Vibhav]
I learn a lot from your comments. They are good insights into considerations one should/can make while writing a poem. But I would've to admit that, more often than not, my poems are impulsive, with not much of effort going into bringing in a coherence of ideas. This time too it was an outburst against some VHP, BD drama. Had to blurt out the anger somehow. I feel glad when you analyze such pieces as a standard poem :)
[Desperado]
:D
As they say- Loha lohe ko katTa hai.. We gotta make some constructive use of the feeling :)
I would say, you got to right according to your impulses only. Then when I analyze I would find something new in it. If you yourself write keeping all those considerations in mind, most likely I won't get something new.
In fact, your poem is like a natural phenomenon and the analysis is like a theory. So if you modify your writing because of ideas of coherence, slow transitions etc, that is in a way like saying that the earth would better go in a circle because it it is a more pleasing shape for humans. The thing is, I DON'T want the poem to fit my expectations. I want to carry out the analysis later only, and find something new in it.
And in fact it only makes it harder for you. Writing while being true to your impulses is harder than writing while fitting into some known kind of structure and rules. Of course I'll never know for sure if you've really been true to your impulses while writing, but if you are, it'll make for a real good poem.
Guess it's enough opinion for today! :)
"I would say, you got to write* according..."
I am homonym-onically challenged :(
[Vibhav]
You're right. To be really true to one's impulses is tough. I may start on impulse, but, most often, half way down I'm only 'writing a poem' and 'trying to make a coherent whole'. And then, all that editing!
*some text missing :D*
I will continue with these half-baked poems. And as always, your interpretations are welcome. :)
[Vibhav]
You'd have been a natural choice for TZP, had you attended the auditions, dear child :P
Never felt so much of depth in any poem till date... and ur emotions, feeling oozing outta every word~~~
and why do u feel like a parasite???:)
One of the best I have read in a long time- and on such a current theme that applies all over the world and to many groups. Have you considered getting this out to a wider audience?
[Siyaah]
How do I do that, sire? I find myself terribly ill-informed.
(On another note, I must say I've treated the idea quite roughly, I think a lot of refinement would be required.)
Post a Comment