Jiya huun main kaise, poochh, tere bin in dino
-Tanhaai se jo mera rishta hai, hai zindagii.
Khuli zulfo.n pe teri fida kyun main ho baitha
-Hawaaon se jo mera shikwa hai, hai zindagii.
October 3, 2008
Posted by ..
Vik
. at
5:21 PM
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10 comments:
beautiful.
wo chehre pe giri julfe
wo taknaa jhuki PALAKo ke jharokho se
teri to sadgi hi maar dalegi hamen
mat dekh sharaabi najaro se
I don't understand the "hai zindagi" in the second and fourth line .. did you mean "aye zindagi"? Probably I am being too foolish .. don't know
the other one that appeared for a day or so was better .. probably because wo mujhe samajh aayi thi :P
waah waahh :D
:) It makes me smile somehow, it's seriously good, well-written. Now if I be allowed to exceed my limits for a while, may I suggest something - when a pretty face attacks, think about her beautician instead; when a pretty hair attacks, think about her hair-stylist instead; when a pair of pretty hands attack, think about her manicurist instead, and so on. It helps.
(Nothing helps, I know.)
[Anonymous]
And, U, are sweet :) Thank you..
[Hitesh]
:)
[Divesh]
Ye jo switzerland me aajkal rahta hai, hai Divesh nahi pahle jaisa :P
The other one I think requires a minor change :)
[Geetika]
Shukriya :D
[Vibhav]
:D :D You do have a point! Let me try! :D
That it makes you smile reminds me of Phoenix's comment here. My comment on your latest post was also on similar lines.. Guess, poetry's all catharsis!
[Phoenix]
Thank you too, dear Google Reader! :P
As always, depth (gehraayii) hai :-).
I tend to agree with Divesh on the 'hai zindagii'part.
Mujhe laga, 'hai zindagii, wo/woh (ab)' may explain it better?, also it would rhyme a bit with 'ho'.
But this will fit in, only if you are defining Life(Zindagii) under such conditions.
Nevertheless, the poet's choice of words or expressions can never be disputed. One is the King of one's poetry.
:D
Wah! Yahi hai zindagi!
[Geetanjali]
:)
The Swiss conspiracy :D
I wrote quite a long reply to this (which I can mail you if you like), but at the end of it, it all boils down to what you've already mentioned: the poet's choice.. the meaning(s) he/she'd like to convey.. and, importantly, the meaning(s) he/she'd want to certainly not include! :)
[Phoenix]
:)
[Siyaah]
:) :D
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