Aati hai kahaan teri yaad humein
Zabran hi laaya karte hain
Azab diwaane hain jo tujhko
Yaad kar karke bhulaaya karte hain
Tasveerein yoon to dhul gayii.n
Par lafzo.n mein kahii.n ghul gayii.n
Lafzo.n ko hum kaghaz pe rakh
Tanhaai mein sukhaaya karte hain
Zulf teri aawaara lahrein
Nain bhi to tere qaatil thahre
Tere nukso.n ki yoon fehrist bana
Ishq ko samjhaaya karte hain
Shauq-e-dil ka wo ik panna
Ukri jis pe teri tamanna
Chand lamhe hum uspe ruk kar
Aage badh jaaya karte hain..
July 25, 2009
Posted by ..
Vik
. at
6:24 PM
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17 comments:
What's 'fehrist' ?
Loved it-- especially:
"Ajab deewane hain jo tujhko
Yaad kar kar ke bhulaaya karte hain"
and
"Chand lamhein hum us par ruk kar
Aage badh jaaya karte hain"
You've grown as a poet. Honestly. This is a masterpiece -- esp the first and the last stanzas. Keep writing.
One suggestion:
"Nain bhi to tere qaatil thehre"
sounds better if either the "to" or "tere" are dropped. It makes the poem flow better --
Zulf teri aawara lehrein
Nain bhi toh qaatil thahrey
Too good
especially liked the first stanza and the "Tere nukson..." couplet.
"Yaad kar kar ke bhulaaya karte hain" to kamaal hai :)
@Taps
'Fehrist' matlab list .. (Yay!!! mujhe bhi Urdu aati hai)
didn't even read the post, first a hello!
now i'll go back and read :)
Beeeeeaautifull!!!!!!!!
Bahut khoob!! :D If I may ask, what or rather who inspires you?? :P
brilliant piece
i loved all the stanzas
just one question ... any synonym for "thahre"
What a wonderful composition. Tap said it: you do keep growing as a poet...getting better and better.
"Lafzon ko hum kaghaz pe rakh, tanhai mein sukhaya karte hain" waah!
The whole concept of third stanza is quite unique, and yet very classical Urdu poetry in terms of theme and style.
Well done!!
Keep writing.
I think this one is your best work I've ever read. Read it over tens of times in the past month.
Write more, no.
loved it! loved it!
write more.. and more..
this is lovely !
Vik where r u? hv u started sum other blog :P
[Everyone]
Jin lafzon ko mere, teri taarifon ke bol mile..
Mere hi aage wo aksar itraaya karte hain.
:)
[Geetika]
Wouldn't do that. Koi blog likhein aur use padhne aap na aayen to faayda kya! :P
Absolutely brilliant!!
The second para especially...Gulzar ki yaad dila gayi (in terms of brilliance!)
this was a brilliant piece... seriously !
This one is still my favorite 8 years later :)
Thanks, all of you. Itne waqt baad, yaqeen nhi hota ye maine hi likha tha :D
Came here after a notification of your comment. Amazed that I still remember more than half of this after 10+ years. I still find myself quoting lines from your poems every once in a while :)
How are you doing?
Thanks. At the cost of making it sound like self praise, I do think 10+ years ago, I indeed had some poetic sense. I think of getting back to poetry every now and then, but life doesn't allow. Somehow the normalcy of life is antithetical to the intensity of poetry.
Doing good. WFH allows more personal time. So, have been reading old pages of the blog. This has had a life of its own. Searching for an inspiration for poetry somewhere. And like always, your words encourage. How are you doing?
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