Meri daastaan-e-gham pe unko yakiin kahaan hai,
Poochhte hain meri aankhon mein nami kahaan hai.
Had-e-gham ke baad aayegi khushi sunaa hai,
Dekhta hun mere zakhmon mein kamii kahaan hai.
Aasmaan ko to chhoone ki hasrat nahi rahi ab,
Nahi rahe wo bhi jo bataate zamiin kahaan hai.
Lab to muskura uthte hain be-sabab bhi magar
Dil bhi ye nahi jaanta meri hansii kahaan hai.
Chand lamho ne badal daala is kadar humko,
Hamiin se poochhte hain log hamiin kahaan hai.
November 7, 2006
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14 comments:
"chand lamho ne badal daala is kadar humko,
hamiin se poochhte hain log hamiin kahaan hai"
Wah Wah! Nice effort! I liked the first and last couplets the most...though every couplet has a good idea.
Small suggestion: jakhmon=zakhmon, jamiin=zamiin.
Siyaah has already pointed out the two trivial spell errors, make thechanges asap :-)
Coming to poetry now. I simply loved the gazal! The rhythm, the words, the flow - it was all there! My favorite couplet is the last one. You have been blessed with immense poetic talent, I must say! Be grateful to God and thank Him everyday for this! People like me strive to reach the stage that you have been naturally placed at.
:)
Lovely. Getting back in form?:)
"Is kadar raftar se woh lamhe zindagi ko thehra gaye
ki yahan thame hum sochte hain ki zindagi thami kahaan hai"
[Siyaah]
Thanx a lot Siyaah.
Though frankly I've a very limited urdu vocabulary. Sometimes i don't get proper translation for my hindi or english words. Plz suggest some sites. Also, can I've ur yahoo id for the same?
[Tapasya]
Thanx a lot!
That's too much of an appreciation. Am flattered!
Thank u, God!!!
But I like ur poetry very much, and don't try to undermine things that I like. :D
[Phoenix]
yeah, sometimes threats work.. sometimes baits :P
urs is one great couplet. And I mean it. raftar. thehrav. zindagi thami kahan hai. wow!!
wah!!!
dil ko choo liya aapki is kavita ne ...
too good! keep it up :)
Wah Wah sarkar!
[pri]
:)
really?!
[venom]
shukriya!
Welcome :)
Had-e-gham ke baad aayegi khushi sunaa hai,
Dekhta hun mere zakhmon mein kamii kahaan hai.
very well done introvert. I liked this couplet
Teri deewarein sajaye, saari maghloob roohein
Ibaadat to maine bhi ki, merei jabii.n kahaan hai?
(maghloob=conquered, ibaadat= worship, jabii.n=forehead)
Introvert, I think the illusionist is the expert to go after for that! comment proves it.
I am pretty amateurish. So far I've found these two sufficient (learning curve is short- but takes a few uses to see how to optimize searches):
http://dsal.uchicago.edu/dictionaries/platts/
http://dsal.uchicago.edu/dictionaries/steingass/
Also see some resources at:
http://urdu-ke-naam.blogspot.com/
I guess the best way is to follow some good poetry...and search the 'difficult' words.
Having said that, you do have a pretty good start on things...
I have to say I just re-read the couplet that the illusionist has highlighted...and wow!!
I missed the complete implication of it on first reading! It now tells me the poet wants to make sure there is no 'kamii' in his 'zakhm's, so as to reach the 'had e ghum' to then reach the khushi!
[Illusionist]
Thanx..
very nice couplet from ur side! though wud've been difficult for me to understand had u not written what maghloob and jabii.n mean.
I wud be looking forward to ur expert advice on urdu vocab in future.
[Siyaah]
u r right.. the best way is to follow some good poetry...and search the 'difficult' words. I've started visiting some of the links on ur blog for that.
u can't be amateurish! an amateur can't come up with those wonderful translations!
yeah, u got the implication perfectly right.
best site
It made my eyes wet..
Then I shouldn't have written it :P
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