Some of my posts that never saw the light of your computer screen, and some that saw it only once or twice, had something strange yet interesting about them, for me at least. The only thing they lacked was the exact picture of my mood while writing them. The unhappy, annoyed tone of most of them was so overwhelming that the idea of the writer having enjoyed writing them seemed to be quite far-fetched.
But no, I've liked writing all of them. Maybe most often they don't appear so but they've been the best form of indulgence writing has ever offered me.
So , after a satisfying day of work, when I've nothing to do while waiting for a bus, I compose words like.. "I'm now pretty much sure.. that my life is a whore.." I hum them sitting alone at a bus stop, and I love it. But when I post them on this blog.. you say- "Oh! This guy freaked out yet again!". No ladies and gentlemen, No. I'm happier with my life than even the best of my posts could ever suggest.
I was reading some of the old unpublished (or published-then-removed) drafts today. And I came across many lines that I found interesting.. unfortunately, these are the same lines that made those posts seemingly unsuitable for a public blog. The idea that there are others apart from all you Ts, Vs, Cs, Ds, Ns, and the vowels, who read my blog, is quite a discomfort for me. If only I knew who all read it totally anonymously, I wouldn't have to drop many posts half way.
June 27, 2008
Posted by ..
Vik
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7:00 PM
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12 comments:
Even though u r unhappy,annoyed you will always enjoy writng becoz after craving all those feeling in form of post (after blurting them out :P ) you will surely feel lighter. Moreover sometimes while writing, sometimes we realise altogther different aspect of the same situtaion.
Keep writing!!
Although my stay on ur blog is nt that old but I still have to say,"This guy has freaked out". :P :P
Why do people care so much what people, or consonants and vowels think...think, if I started thinking about posting....that too about who reads it n stuff, my blog wd die...
some of those drafts of urs that appeared for a few minutes, they were brilliant. They were......forget it, u dont get comments for wat u dont publish.
Why care about those who read anonymously? They don't want to make their presence felt, and you shouldn't really bother. What the heck if they read a post, moreover understand it, laugh at it, love it or hate it?
And trust me, phx is right. Some of the posts that appeared for a few minutes were brilliant. Publish them. Set yourself free.
Why get discomforted by something you don't even know ..
so publish publish publish.. I also sometimes keep a few posts as drafts but then I feel the urge to publish them and I end up doing so. It isn't much fun for me to write something that no one reads. I recently published a post or two that were quite old ... so they won't even appear on anyone's google reader and would be read only by someone interested in reading just about everything on the blog .. you can do the same :)
PS: You stopped replying to comments??
PPS: I am also among the ones guilty of reading your blog "totally anonymously" for quite some time .. till you left a comment on mine
PPPS: Ek aur spam :D
[Geetika]
I agree. Sometimes while writing we do find better ways of looking at things.
I'll keep writing.. you keep visiting the freak. :)
[Phoenix, Taps]
The last line was about the posts dropped half-way.. because I won't like certain specific persons to read it (due to certain cordiality considerations). Apart from them, I don't mind anyone known or unknown reading it.
The rest of the post.. well.., is not just about what people think.. it's also about what I want them to think (:P).. it's also about what I'd like to see my blog as. I want my blog to be closer to the real person that is me. When I write on momentary impulses of anger and frustration, which didn't last in my life for more than 15 minutes, I think I'm keeping the happier eternal me under some sorta subjugation. I want to pen a realistic account of these times, wherein all my moods get as much fraction of the blog space as that of the real time, for me to read later.
Removal of posts owes itself to one or more of such considerations.. guided more by my own self than people. Thanks for liking some of them. :)
[Divesh]
No, I'd prefer drafts to published posts for musings I don't want to share. :)
(These days I've at least stopped those publishing and then removing exercises though. It's good.)
Yeah, because replying requires more coherent thinking than writing a post. Kinda consumes me. Hope you won't make that a reason for visiting my blog less in future :)
'reason for visiting less'... of course not .. but reply padhna achchha lagta hai :) .. but you tend to put in too much effort to reply, so maybe it is better to skip doing so
Can relate a little..but you can just complete those posts for yourself...instead of leaving them halfway..probably they'll find their way into a big book you'll write some day..not everything needs to be posted..and sometimes you can say..what the heck..and just write anything..maybe something extraordinary will happen! :P
[Divesh]
:)
[vibhav]
You're right. I should complete them. I will.
For publishing though, I can dish out loads of new crap, now that I'm finally getting back to write some paragraphs again..
"So , after a satisfying day of work, when I've nothing to do while waiting for a bus, I compose words like.. "I'm now pretty much sure.. that my life is a whore.." I hum them sitting alone at a bus stop, and I love it."
totally know what you're talking about..mine don't even get written down as drafts, just float around in my head till a new day dawns..
life indeed is about those momentary impulses dude ;)
i understood it quite late too..
if it has come..welcome it! There is no perfect finish nor perfect start.
ever read my crap?? :)
Hmm... quite understandable.. Why not start a blog anonymously? :)
[Pooja]
Yes, I read something like that in a tag of yours :)
[mostlybhu]
You write very few sentences in a post. And I think there is a minimum word limit for anything to be recognized as crap :P
[Ms Taggart]
Most people who visit this blog.. I like them.. and most of those who visit without ever dropping a comment are welcome too! There is no way to deny access to only a few persons, without denying it to random harmless visitors who sometimes leave comments (even anonymously) and make my day!
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