Another Mortal Life

Ved rings the bell. I open the door. Yes, he was telling me he'd visit today. My room is as messed up as ever. Anyway, do we ever mind! He picks up the tv remote and sits on the bed. I pick up the book that's there in front of the tv and put it on the table. He wants me to have a look at the Word of God. Boy, has he written it?

"No, it's not complete yet. I have a feeling it'd be a bit boring for the reader. I don't know what to do."
"And what could you possibly do to the Word of God?"

He doesn't know. He keeps shuffling through the channels. He stops at one playing emosanal attyachaar, and ups the volume. He hands me the pen-drive, "Have a look.", he says.

I start reading it. The song on the tv now changes over to 'Love mera hit hit.'
"Gulzar is the man, yar", he says, "even his crap is better than others' masterpieces."

I smile. I keep reading. God seemed to be a good God. But Ved finds all this boring.

"Suggest me how I can make it interesting."

"Hmm.. You can add some fiction in it. Just like the other stories, and the big novel, that you've been writing. But I don't think God will like it."

"Oh. That I can handle. I can just say I fictionalised it under some satanic influences like that of you!"

"So, I'm a satanic influence, huh?"

He doesn't answer. He is hooked to that girl on tv with a pigeon on her head. I ask him if he would like a beer.

"No! You alcoholic. You infidel."

"But I don't have....."
".....I won't have that either; I'm on a break."

"yeah. yeah."

I get a bottle for myself from the fridge. He takes the chair by the computer and starts googling about Sonam Kapoor. Particularly, about her dentist.
"Such white teeth, man!", he exclaims.

"Indeed. The heroin could never be whiter than her teeth."

"That's blasphemy!"

"What?"

"You shouldn't say such a thing to a smackhead. To them, there can be nothing whiter than heroin. It's a matter of faith to them."

"What!!! I never heard that!"

"You skipped pages, my friend."

"Ufff."

Now I pick up the remote. On some channel Cidade de Deus is on. It immediately catches Ved's attention, and he shouts.. "I have an idea!"

"??"

"I'd add in this book that every good man should visit Rio at least once in his life."

I don't say anything. He starts editing the file. I switch to some other channel. It's another movie. Kangana Ranaut is puffing on a cigarrette, sitting by the roadside. She looks stunning. But God, why do people smoke? I switch the tv off.

"I too have an idea for you.. You may add it's the duty of every smackhead to turn all smokers and drinkers into smackheads!"

"But that would be quite a big edit to God's words, no?"- now it is Ved's turn to be righteous!

"Yes, you can't add this to the official version. But you can advertise this part through an allegedly pirated and manipulated version. People will find it interesting, I think."

"Hmm, yes. And, indeed, you are a big satanic influence!"

***
(Might be continued.)
***
(Fiction)