My recent people experiments (all performed in situ), and also some events I had no control over, have lead me to a few interesting conclusions/realizations.
1. People who use smileys (in conversations of written sort) even when they start boiling up can be trusted to not explode. Apparently, smileys are a good way to let the steam out.
2. People know you more than you think they do. This seems to be the only explanation to the fact that this gorgeous lady whom I was sort-of ogling at one day, suddenly sprung on me with "You are Vikram, right?". God! She was from school!
3. Asking "What is so funny about it?" is one of the best things you can do when confronted with an irritating laugh, or a misplaced 'lol'. It really makes people discover their stupidity.
4. The idea of your best-friend-from-the-opposite-sex marrying is terrifying. Think of having to say something like "Sorry to bother you Mr. Xyz.. Can I talk to your wife?" Arghh.
(Ok, it's not that awkward. And obviously, you won't refer to her as his wife- she'll most probably still have a name. But what about the nick? "Hello Xyz, can I talk to Bak Bak? Meanwhile you can make her some coffee!")
5. To be able to tell people in a calm, articulate, and friendly manner that you didn't like something they said or did, is a talent.
6. Everybody can be fooled. We've a April-fool week currenty going on in our hostel. (So, in case you're a fellow hosteler, beware! But don't make others aware, please!)
7. One must not talk cryptic. Simple, to-the-point, non-accented, crisp words help.
8. The acceptable numbers of guys in an all-boys hang out are 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and so on.
March 27, 2008
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Vik
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22 comments:
Hmm, 5 definitely is a talent
And in 8, what is so unacceptable about 2?
The 8th observation is a painful, painful fact. I daresay that very soon, in the fourth point it might become equally awkward to ask for your male friend when his wife picks up the phone. In fact, I double-daresay that it might become more awkward, since a lady would rather have a woman competitor than a male, if you know what I mean.
@ 1:
Yeh Sure.... :D
@ 2:
Gosh!! never happened to me.. :((
@ 3:
OOPSS!!!
hehheh
lol,.....
@ 4:
what iF the nick names range from FuckinBitch to Deprived-vag..??? Just a Thought!!!!
@ 5:
i always try, but fail miserably..!!! :(
@ 6:
Happy April Fool's day!!!
@ 7:
Okay, that, by the way, in the most, awesome way, made, the just sense i require, to me...!!!
@ 8:
what happened to 2????? forgotten, avoidable, Disasterous..???
@Vibhav and Vik
You guys are so so homophobic, apparently. 2 guys is okay as long as they don't stick too close to each other ;)
2 girls rocks though.
More later.
Phoenix, I say let's pick a fight here.
Vikram, your 8th point and my comment, through what route of reasoning, could ever lead to the conclusion that we are homophobic, is what I really really want to know. And if you too cannot understand how Phoenix concluded this, then,
Phoenix, you have to clarify.
In fact, Vikram, in one sentence she calls us homophobic, in the next she's wanting guys not to stick too close to each other, in the third she's again alright with girls sticking close. Women! ahh....
:)
Happy April Fool's Day!
:-)
[Akshay]
Catch one (only one) from your bunch, and hang around in Lodhi Garden or our own SDA for a while, and you'd know!
[Vibhav]
"a lady would rather have a woman competitor than a male, if you know what I mean"
- Doesn't seem to be very convincing; educate me!
[Rush.me]
@2- Never happened what?.. Some guy who was sort-of ogling at you never happened to be your schoolmate, or some guy you were sort-of... err :P
@8- For all I know, 2 was taken up for some fight while I was having my early night's sleep!
[Phoenix]
Some phrases, which we won't discuss in detail, explain it all! ;)
[RM....]
I was made a fool on March 22nd. Good luck to you!! :D
[Vibhav, Phoenix]
God, I love it!
It's clear that Phoenix has a relative dislike for 2 guys hanging out together, as compared to 2 girls. I'd say that such dislikes, of this and higher degree, in the minds of people in general, and particularly women, make what you call a painful, painful fact. It's a social phenomenon. We as individuals have nothing to do with it!
And Phoenix, even if we guys, at an individual level, are so damn uncomfortable with another guy, how does this mean we're 'homophobic'?
[On a (hopefully) lighter and (perhaps) different note.. Phoenix once called a guy 'sadist' for expressing on her blog that he enjoyed sadness. :P]
[But, Vibhav, she used the word 'apparently' yaar, (and that's one of my favourite words too.)]
Ok, she would rather have a female competitor since then there is a possibility of redemption, of getting him back; or at least she could say "Well, at least at some point, I know, once...he was mine!"
But if he was homosexual, then neither he was, nor he ever will be, and all the moments they spent together were a hoax - the horror, the horror! (We're assuming he's not bisexual) Try imagining it, just as an experiment!
Convincing?
[Vibhav]
I did think once that this was what you meant! (Then I thought maybe you're talking about women's love for bitching!) But, c'mon, Vibhav, we're talking of guy friends, not gay friends!! :D
Of course, not gay friends, but we're talking about suspicion! I mean why is it uncomfortable to call a friend who's a girl who's married now and whose husband picks up the phone! So it's just suspicion. It's getting confusing now.
Genuinely speaking, it's a very fine line to walk. Most of our (males') statements would make us sound like either homosexuals, or homophobic. If you are called a homophobic, and you say no no I like homosexuals, then you'll raise some eyebrows. Very difficult to give out the impression that you are homo-tolerant (there's not even a proper word for it, see!)
what is the secret behind the numbers in boys' hang outs...we must know...pliss to be explaining
I've hung around with a male friend in SDA, now make anything of it you want to. And I am indifferent to homosexuals
@ vibhav
And about your fear of expression of "homo-tolerance", the very fact thet you would be disturbed if someone suspected you to be gay shows that you are not homo-tolerant after all. I would simply say: if a best friend of mine confesses to me he's gay, I'd say I haven't a problem with that. That's that, now if the world wants to make something of it, hell may care!
'LOL' term itself is so annoying. I prefer 'Hahahaha' or just the word 'funny' to the fake 'lol'. I mean, you find something funny and what do you do? Type 3 dumb words? Aargh. And people who have irritating laughters should be given a taste of their own medicine. They should be subjected to fake laughters at random intervals of time so that it pisses the living hell out of them.
Totally agree with #6. I've been doing this experiment for 19 years and everyone who I've known has been fooled by one lie of mine or the other. It's a strange happiness, this whole deceit/harmless fooling.
#8 is hilarious! Two is apparently not company these days, huh? I see that your readers are dissecting this old adage.
[Vibhav]
That would be one hell of a suspicious woman, I must say. Bhagwan bachaye!
When I wrote that point, I was not thinking about suspicion though. [I had a particular friend in mind and I really hope that she doesn't get a suspicious husband.]. I was thinking about some pure simple awkwardness. Now I can't define what a pure simple awkwardness is.
I understand the thing about the fine line. And I agree.
[Chandni, Akshay]
It was simply about how awkward it sometimes feels to be '2 guys' in a well of couples. The discussion this page is seeing about homosexuality was quite unexpected, nevertheless I'm enjoying it.
[Drenched]
You're right about lol. I don't use it either. And I must say it's more popular in women. You're a welcome exception!
..And to discover later that you were fooled is an even stranger happiness! Well, mostly.
Yeah, let's see where this dissection leads us. Thanks for finding it hilarious though.
Alright, a call for peace now, everyone! A very very very fine line indeed.
I am sure, Vikram, you didn't mind all this on your blog since you like digressions, and you can understand that I myself like deep-drilling-with-narrow-focus.
In fact, to think of it, (yet another digression!) with tendencies like these, we could do something like - strike oil in Greenland someday! Oh yes, when we do it, be sure to bring at least one more friend along, or remind me to.
[Vibhav]
Arre waah dost! Maine to ek peace-making comment karke delete kar diya.. ye soch ke ki Vibhav akela pad jayega; aur yahaan tumhi peace ki baat karne lage! Chalo achchha hai.. Peace! Waise mujhe lagta hai Madam Phoenix naaraaz ho gayii.n humse.. and I'm not feeling too good about it. :)
Oh yes, I'm a pacifist, if you want to know the truth. :P Thanks though!
Phoenix is hard to annoy, but maybe...!
And the change in title hasn't gone unnoticed ;)
the post is really interesting..but the comment section is even better :)
I officially quit commenting on this blog today. I'm so tired of justifications.
I'm a bisexual, for the record. :)
I'd understand.
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